Big Lizards:Blog:Entry “Gitmo Litella-ville Blues: Obama Report Says... 'Never Mind!'”

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February 20, 2009

Gitmo Litella-ville Blues: Obama Report Says... 'Never Mind!'

Hatched by Dafydd

Oh, please read this story in the New York Times titled "Guantánamo Meets Geneva Rules, Study Finds":

A Pentagon report requested by President Obama on the conditions at the Guantánamo Bay detention center concluded that the prison complies with the humane-treatment requirements of the Geneva Conventions.

All right; then what in bloody blue blazes were the skirt-hiking, chair-jumping Democrats shrieking about all these years?

"What's all this I hear about pioneers being tartared? Didn't our brave ancestors have enough trouble crossing the Alps in their covered wagons without being assaulted by a condiment? And why tartar sauce? It would be much more American to mustard them, or ketch them up, rather than using some fishy foreign sauce squeezed from a plastic packet! If we can't show some respect for our forty-niner forebears, then I don't know what --"

Now that the Guantanamo Bay Detention Facility is Barack H. Obama's baby, it's anybody's game: The Pentagon can issue the same sort of report it routinely issued during the Bush administration; but that was then, this is now. Back during the tyranny of the chimp, such reports were routinely savaged, mocked, and made into exhibits in federal human-rights lawsuits. Today, they're simply accepted as more evidence of the fantastic job that the One is doing... look, he's only been president for a month, and already Gitmo is Geneva-clean!

As the great Emily Litella would say...

"Oh. Prisoners, not pioneers? And tortured, not tartared? That's very different."